Funniest Quotes from Emergency Medicine

By Genviev, May 19, 2014

Often imitated, never duplicated, the WFR (Wilderness First Responder) course taught by the Wilderness Medicine Institute (WMI) has become the nationally recognized standard in wilderness medicine education.

Below are some of the funniest quotes from the course:

  • Hypothermia is a progressive continuum that begins with a cold, unhappy person and ends with a cold, dead person.
  • Mild stupidity can be a sign of mild hypothermia as the brain begins to malfunction, impairing normal thought processing.
  • White blood cells attack germs that have worked their way into the tissues. The contamination migrates to the surface and drains out as pus, composed of the white blood cells that died in the line of duty.
  • 30 & 2 Bro, that’s all you need to know!
  • With cardiopulmonary resuscitation, the rhythm of compressions matches the beat of the Bee Gees’ song Staying Alive. When you’re pumping on someone’s chest, sing along out loud: “ah ah ah ah staying alive, staying alive, ah ah ah ah staying alive…”
  • The medical term for an unhappy brain is “DICC Head” (Disoriented – Irritable – Combative – Coma).
  • Reasons for the brain TO STOP are TOxins – Sugar (lack of) – Temperature (too high or too low) – Oxygen (lack of) – Pressure.
  • We eat breakfast at 7 and have 7 cervical vertebrae. We eat lunch at 12 and have 12 thoracic vertebrae. We eat dinner at 5 and have 5 lumbar vertebrae. Above C4, breathe no more.
  • 1 – I’m number one! ; 2 – What happened to you? ; 3 – Don’t get it on me! ; 4 – Are there any more? ; 5 – Dead or alive?
  • Someone suffering from ataxia may look like they might need a taxi (loss of balance, coordination, muscular control).
  • In a lightning storm, do not stand near a tree: you’ll explode, be squashed and die.
  • With severe hypothermia, you are not dead until you are warm and dead.
  • Ectopic pregnancy will kill you dead.

Live Coverage of the Wilderness First Responder Program

Follow our original live coverage of this intensive medical boot camp training program at the Lewis & Clack College of Portland here: WFR Course.

Among the topics covered are spinal cord injuries, long-term patient care, chest injuries, shock, head injuries, wildnerness wound management, patient assessment, CPR, athletic injuries, fracture management and traction splinting, dislocations, cold injuries, heat illness, altitude illness, cardiac, respiratory and neurological emergencies, blites, stings and poisoning, diabetes, allergies and anaphylaxis, search and rescue, leadership, teamwork and communication, communicable diseases, lightning, submersion, etc.

Emergency Response Background

Genvièv is a Certified Emergency and Pain Control Hypnosis Instructor trained by US Marine and Police Officer Don Mottin.

An Emergency First Responder and a Rescue Diver, she is a trained CPR, AED, First Aid and Oxygen Provider, certified with the Emergency First Response Corporation, PADI, the CMAS, the FMAS and the ANMP, as well as an Animal and Wildlife Emergency Responder.

She is a Wilderness Emergency Medicine First Responder certified by the Wilderness Medicine Institute of NOLS and served on board the Professional Ski Patrol of Mt. Hood.

Legal Boundaries

Clinical hypnotherapists, like Wilderness Emergency First Responders, are not licensed medical professionals. Addressing diagnosed conditions with hypnosis is only done under the supervision of, and in close cooperation with medical doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, nurse practitioners and social workers. As clinical hypnotherapists, we require a physician’s authorization before initiating work on diagnosed conditions. Working in close cooperation with your medical team enables us to ensure your progress in an optimal manner.

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